


I Fell Heavy Into Your Arms

by leo_draconis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-02 05:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leo_draconis/pseuds/leo_draconis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Harry thought his dream of being with Draco was coming true – until Draco left him behind.  Now he’s come home, and Harry doesn’t know if he should dare to hope again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Fell Heavy Into Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Branka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Branka/gifts).



> Title borrowed from "I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons. Thank you to M for the beta. Dearest Brini, it was a pleasure to write for you, and I hope you enjoy this story. I hope you enjoy Ron’s antics as well. Merry Christmas!

"You've got to squeeze the melons to see if they're ripe," Pansy instructed.

"You know I'm not interested in that," Harry teased, nudging her with his elbow.

She rolled her eyes. "I suppose I had that coming. I suppose this is a little more to your liking?" She held up an overlarge cucumber.

"I'm hardly a size queen, Pans. I did date Terry for a bit there, if you'll recall."

"How could I forget? Commiserating over drinks and shared tales of his tiny dick is what finally settled our differences once and for all." She rested her head on his shoulder. "You needed a fag hag – a position at which I excel, as you now know – and I needed a new fag."

Harry groaned. "Stop calling me that. And don't remind me exactly why the position was open – I have no desire to revisit that part of my life, or to be compared to him."

"Oh, there's no comparison. He's got considerably better hair, and a greater sense of fashion by far. Though I'm happy to say that under my tutelage your look has improved considerably."

"Yeah, yeah, abuse me for my looks. Got it."

"I'm only teasing you. You're gorgeous, doll." Pansy kissed his cheek. "Garrett clearly thinks so, too."

"Well, I hope tonight's the night we'll find out just how gorgeous _he_ is." Harry studied the selection of berries. "Strawberries and cream too forward, do you think?"

"You've been seeing the bloke for more than two months, and you haven't gotten past a bit of snogging and over-the-clothes groping. You haven't even properly wanked each other yet."

"And now the entire market knows the state of my sex life. Thank you."

"That's the point – you have none! I don't think laying spread-eagle on the bed with Muggle air traffic controllers motioning him in is too forward at this point."

"I see all the television I’ve subjected you to is working. And he's a bit old-fashioned is all."

"He's a bit stupid in the head," Pansy corrected. "Even if he's not ready for everything, surely he could tickle your pickle a bit."

"Enough!" Harry choked out a laugh. "Just help me pick out a few things for dinner tonight, yeah?"

"Oh, fine." Pansy grabbed a basket to fill. "You should make a light pasta of some sort. A nice mix of – hang on." She rifled through her handbag for her ringing mobile. 

Harry sorted through a display of apples. "Perhaps a tart of some sort for dessert?" he mumbled. He looked up and saw that Pansy had walked away, and after scanning the crowd he caught sight of her on the edge of the market. She was gesturing madly as she spoke to her caller.

When she returned a few minutes later she avoided Harry's eyes and picked up the basket she'd abandoned. "So, the pasta. You should –"

"Who was that?" Harry asked.

"Just a friend. You need a good salad to go with it, with a lot of color. Looks good on the table."

"Which friend, Pans?" Harry placed a hand on her arm. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Just someone I haven't spoken to in awhile. I was surprised to hear from him."

"Oh. You want to talk about it?"

"Clearly not, since I'm attempting to change the subject," she replied impatiently. "Now – dessert."

~*~

Harry woke early the next morning and padded into the kitchen, where he scowled at the remnants of the evening's date. It had been shaping up to be something lovely – the dinner actually tasted good, Garrett had seemed to be enjoying himself… then dinner ended and they moved to the living room for wine.

He didn't know if it was the wine or Pansy's encouragements that made him feel so bold, but whatever the catalyst, he decided to make a move. He was _ready_ , his prick was beyond ready, and the smiles Garrett was sending his way surely meant he was ready as well.

Or not.

The snogging was nice enough, though Garrett was always rather passive about it, and Harry was encouraged when Garrett didn't slap his hand away after it landed on the tweed-covered groin he'd been so anxious to touch. He’d rubbed it and even squeezed it, and then he apparently committed some sort of crime by unzipping the trousers that housed it because Garrett leaped up as though the sofa was on fire the moment Harry reached inside.

Garrett shrieked at him about 'moving too fast' and Harry had simply pointed toward the Floo. He didn't want to seem insensitive, but he was beginning to doubt Garrett had any real attraction to him at all. Bloody Pansy, making him think he had a chance.

“Morning, mate.”

Harry jumped. “For fuck’s sake, Ron, what are you doing here?”

Ron scratched his head and yawned. “You said I could stay here whenever I needed to.”

“Yeah, but… when did you come in?”

“’Round midnight. You were asleep, I didn’t want to wake you,” Ron explained. 

“Thanks, I think. Another fight?”

“She’s mental, I’m telling you. Been telling you for years!”

“And yet you married her.” Harry sat down with a cup of tea. “Now what?”

“George and I went out for a pint after work. Met up with Ernie and some of the other blokes. She thinks I should have sent her a note or something first.”

“Of course you should have.”

“And why is that?” Ron said indignantly. “She’s not my mum.”

“Perhaps not, but she’s the person who worries about you when you don’t come home. She’s the one who cooked a dinner for you that you didn’t eat.”

“You sound just like her!”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Probably because I’ve had to hear you two argue about shit like this over and over again. And she does have a point. But most of all, would the minute or so it would have taken to owl her or Floo call her have made such a difference in your life? Would it not have been easier than all this? You were kicked out again, slept in my guest room again, and now you’ll have to grovel again.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Ron scowled. “She’s mental.”

“So get a divorce.”

Ron gaped at him. “Wha – how could you say that? She’s _Hermione_! The love of my life! Your other best friend!”

“Glad you remember,” Harry laughed. “So go home and tell her you’ll stop being an inconsiderate oaf. And perhaps stick to it this time.”

“All right, all right.”

The Floo flared and Pansy appeared, brushing soot from her sleeves. “Morning, love.”

“If only people felt comfortable enough to just come right in, invited or not.” Harry leaned back in his chair. “What brings you by, Pans?”

“Oh, I was just hoping to see Ronald in his pajamas.” She winked at Ron, who flushed and left the room in a hurry. “How was the date? He’s not still here, is he?”

“Definitely not. I tried to touch his bits and he screamed at me. So that’s all over.”

“I’m sorry, love.”

“It’s all right. Did you come by just to see if I finally got laid?”

“That, and…” Pansy bit her lip. “And I needed to talk to you about tonight.”

“I made the reservations. No worries.”

“Right, but…” She fidgeted with her handbag. “I sort of need to cancel.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed. “Saturday nights are ours! What’s so important you have to drop me?”

“It’s just, you know, I… I have a friend who needs me.”

“Yes, me.” Harry shot her a petulant frown. “Same _friend_ who called you yesterday?”

“Yes, if you must know.”

“Who is it?”

Pansy’s eyes darted toward the guest room, where Ron was hiding. “It’s…”

Harry’s stomach clenched as he finally cottoned on. Ron had no idea that he and Malfoy were ever… well, whatever they were for the few precious hours Harry had dared to hope for something. “Right. Got it.”

“Harry…”

“No, no. I understand. I imagine I’m just in the way if he’s back anyhow, so feel free to drop me a line sometime if you need a substitute.”

“Harry!”

He held up his hands. “I’m sorry. Truly. I don’t mean to be a brat, I’m just disappointed.”

Pansy sighed. “His mum is dying, Harry,” she said quietly.

Harry closed his eyes. “I see.”

“He came back to be with her.”

“Is he staying?”

“I don’t know. For awhile, at least. But it isn’t as though you have to see him. And it won’t interfere with our friendship, I swear it. It’s just that he just got back, and…”

“And he’s still your oldest friend. I know. I am sorry about Narcissa.”

“I know.” Pansy patted his arm. “I will see you tomorrow for brunch instead, is that all right?”

“Sure. Have fun tonight.”

“Thank you. Good-bye, Ronald!” Pansy called. “I hope I see more of you next time!”

“Why do you torture him?”

“Because it’s so _easy_. He looks like such a buffoon when he’s frightened. More than usual, I mean.”

“Be nice,” Harry admonished. 

“Where’s the fun in that?”

~*~

“Harry?”

With a groan, Harry marked his place in his book and heaved himself off the sofa. “Hey, Ron.”

“Hope you don’t mind that I came by…”

“I really need to block my Floo,” he muttered. “What’s going on?”

“I…” Ron stuffed his hands in his pockets sheepishly. “Well, we had a fight.”

“Again? You left here not eight hours ago. Are you attempting to set some sort of record?”

“It’s not my fault she’s a bloody nutter!”

“Right. What did you do this time?”

“She was cooking dinner, and I simply asked a few questions. About why she does things so different from Mum.”

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. “And…”

“And, well, I may have _implied_ that she should have Mum show her a few things about cooking.”

“Ron, you’re a fucking idiot. Truly.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ron’s face was glum. “It’s just, you don’t have to eat her meals every night like I do. You don’t understand.”

“I’ve eaten some, and yeah, she’s not the best. And I understand she’s not your mum. No one can compare to Molly Weasley in the kitchen, that’s for certain. Perhaps not in the bedroom, either, considering how many of you there are…”

“My ears!” Ron moaned. “Merlin, Harry, you can’t _say_ things like that about a bloke’s mother!”

“You deserved it. The point is, Hermione is trying, and she’s got a big apron to fill.”

“Are you calling my mum fat now?” Ron crossed his arms. “That’s crossing a line, mate.”

“I meant it _figuratively_.” Harry raked a hand through his hair. “Honestly, talking to you is like talking to a wall. I don’t know how Hermione keeps you in the house at all.”

“But I’ve always been this stupid!” Ron exclaimed. “She never used to fly off the handle like this, not until lately.”

“Is anything wrong at work? I haven’t spoken to her in a few days. Perhaps I’ll invite her to lunch this week.”

“I don’t know. She’s on edge all the time anymore. And then I end up putting my foot in it, and she’s yelling at me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Talk less,” Harry suggested. “Be more considerate. You two have variations of the same fight over and over again, so you should have learned your lesson by now. I’ll send her a note, too, because it does sound like something is bothering her and I don’t see her as much now that I’m not at the Ministry anymore. She used to be much more tolerant of you.”

“Maybe I should bring her flowers.” Ron frowned. “I’ve asked her if anything is wrong, but she just gets upset. I don’t know what to do. I wish I could help her.”

Harry smiled. “Much better attitude, that. Come on, let’s go get some dinner, yeah? Let her cool off and then you can go home and make amends. Take her some dessert, perhaps. I forgot to cancel my reservations at The Golden Feather, so we may as well use them.”

“She does enjoy their chocolate mousse.”

“There you go.”

~*~

After their meal, Harry and Ron made their way toward the exit. They were nearly to the door when Ron quite literally ran into Pansy.

She grinned up at him. “Why, hello, Weasley. How I’ve dreamed of feeling that somewhat pudgy body against me.”

“Pans, knock it off,” Harry chided. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re having dinner.” She bit her lip. “I didn’t know you were still coming here.”

Harry sighed. “It’s not a big deal, I swear. Where is he?”

“Restroom… oh. Here he is now.” 

Harry spun around and saw him, looking different and somehow exactly the same. He felt his face heat when Draco’s eyes finally landed on him and widened. “Hello, Draco.”

“Harry.” Draco cleared his throat. “And Weasley. Hello.” His gaze never left Harry’s.

“Er… hello.” Ron glanced from Draco to Harry.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mum,” Harry said quietly. “Truly.”

Draco nodded. “Thank you.”

“How is Paris? And Gringotts?”

“Lovely and demanding as always, respectively. And… you? How is life as an Auror? All you dreamed it would be?”

“Not in the least. I quit just before training ended.”

Draco’s eyebrows shot upward. “Oh?”

“Long story.”

Ron cleared his throat. “Er, mate…”

“Right, sorry. We should be going. It was nice to see you both.” Harry wanted to flee, and at the same time he was desperate to stay, to be near Draco for the first time in so very long. 

Pansy shot him a sympathetic smile. “See you for brunch?”

“Of course. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

The silence was nearly deafening when they exited to the street, and Ron nudged Harry with an elbow. “Going to tell me what that was all about?”

“Hmm?”

“You and Malfoy. That was weird. A civil conversation like you were old friends? And he was _looking_ at you.”

“Polite people tend to maintain eye contact, Ron.”

“Oh, no, you’re not brushing me off. It was out of the ordinary, and you trying to deflect the topic just tells me something is going on.”

Harry groaned inwardly. If _Ron_ of all people could sense something, it must be out in the open like an ad on the front page of the _Prophet_. “It’s nothing, really. I haven’t seen him in years. Before he left, we sort of made peace and so we try to remain civil toward one another.”

Clearly skeptical, Ron frowned. “Well, I still think it was awkward. Tense, even. But I suppose that’s Malfoy for you. But you were looking at him, too, and it seemed like…”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to do more than just be civil with him.”

“So we were sort of friends, before. And then he went to Paris and I haven’t talked to him since.”

“You were actually friends with him? Really? And you didn’t tell me?”

Harry scowled at him. “How would you have reacted if I had? It was only a year after the war ended. You were still pretty anti-Slytherin. You certainly weren’t pleased when Pansy and I became friends, and that was after Draco left.”

Ron shrugged. “Suppose you’re right. I don’t really care as much these days, though, but I still think you’re mental where Parkinson is concerned.”

“She wouldn’t bother you if you didn’t react exactly the way she wants you to. She’s just poking at you.”

“She wants to see me naked! She’s always saying things like that to me!”

Harry laughed. “She really doesn’t. She may be a flirt, but she has a policy about never chasing attached men. She’s just giving you a little payback because you weren’t very nice to her in the beginning.”

“She’s insane. And just because I let you steer me away from the topic of Malfoy doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten that you were eying him like Hermione’s going to eye this mousse. But for now, I need to go, so thank you for dinner – I’m going to Apparate home if that’s all right with you. See if I can avoid Hermione’s wrath for the rest of the night.”

“Talk to her, Ron. And tell her I’ll be owling her about lunch.”

“I will. Thanks, mate.”

When he returned home, he most definitely did not wank to memories of his one and only night in Draco’s bed.

~*~

_“Hello, Harry.” Draco lifted his glass in salute and motioned to the seat across from him._

_“Hi.” Harry felt slightly giddy when Draco smiled. Since they’d begun spending some time together, he felt more drawn to Draco than he ever had. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but he realized more with every passing moment that the desire to kiss Draco was not going away._

_Draco motioned for the server to bring Harry a pint. “Tough day at training? You looked tired at lunch. Thanks for meeting me tonight.”_

_“It’s Friday. Been a long week. But I’m always happy to see you,” he added, feeling his face heat._

_“The feeling’s mutual. I’m glad we’ve started getting to know each other.” Draco smiled again. “It’s also nice to be out on a Friday night. I haven’t had a boyfriend in so long that I’ve begun to feel a bit like a hermit.”_

_Harry’s breath caught. “Boyfriend?”_

_Draco raised an eyebrow. “Did you not know I prefer men? I thought I was the most obvious specimen available.”_

_“No, I didn’t… but haven’t you always told me I’m somewhat thick?” Harry attempted to joke, though his heart continued to race._

_Draco grinned. “More than somewhat, if I recall.”_

_After a pleasant conversation and more liquid courage, Harry suggested they take a walk. Draco agreed easily, and they made their way out into the night and away from the evening crowd. “Thanks for the drinks.”_

_“No problem. I did invite you out, after all.”_

_“So does that mean this was a date?” Harry glanced sideways at Draco, whose expression didn’t falter._

_“I don’t know. Are you planning on kissing me goodnight?”_

_Harry stopped walking, and Draco turned to face him. “I… might like to.”_

_“Is that so?”_

_“Yeah.” Deciding to be brave, Harry pulled Draco close by the lapels on his jacket. “It was a good night, after all.”_

_When their lips met, Harry knew in an instant that he would never manage to get enough of this man, this taste, this feeling. He felt Draco’s hands cup his cheeks, and deepened the kiss, allowing Draco’s tongue inside and closing his eyes._

_“Hold on tight,” Draco murmured against his lips, and with a tug behind his navel he found himself in an unfamiliar room, tumbling onto an unfamiliar bed as he and Draco landed. Draco laughed and tugged off his jacket before straddling Harry on the bed and returning to the kiss._

_They kissed and rolled and kissed again, hands running over backs and fingers twining in hair. Harry settled on his back, legs parted, and Draco slid between them. Harry could feel Draco’s erection pulsing against his own, even through their layers of clothing, and while it felt strange it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. Even during his short time with Ginny they’d never made it very far in the physical department, so this level of closeness with another person was all together unfamiliar – and quite exciting._

_Draco began to move, thrusting his hips forward so that his cock rubbed against Harry’s, and even as Harry wished he could remove their clothes he wasn’t willing to break the heated kiss when everything already felt so damn good. He lifted his pelvis, meeting Draco’s every move, and their actions sped until Harry began to come. He felt Draco spasming against him and they continued to slide together as they rode out their orgasms._

_They kissed more slowly, tenderly, and held each other in the afterglow. Harry had never known such contentment was possible. He closed exhausted eyes and rested his head on Draco’s shoulder._

_“This was…” Draco paused. “I’ve wanted…”_

_“Hmm?” Harry struggled to stay awake._

_“I just… I didn’t even know you were gay, Harry.”_

_“I’m not sure I am.” He yawned. “Gonna take a nap.”_

_“Oh… okay,” Draco whispered._

~*~

“He just left town, Pansy. Sent me home, and then nothing for days. Returned all my owls unread. Then that blasted note, telling me simply that it was fun but he didn’t think we were compatible, and that he was being transferred to bloody France. Like Gringotts ever moves that quickly for anything.” Harry stabbed his scone with a fork.

“I know, Harry, but it’s been three years. And I’ve always told you – and him – that I didn’t buy it. I think there was far more going on than he’d ever admit, but he wouldn’t talk to me about it. He still won’t. All I know is that while he’s always refused to mention you in his letters, even when I spoke of you in mine, he wouldn’t shut up about you last night.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Brought you up again and again. Tried to get information out of me about who you were dating, why you quit the Ministry, what you’re doing now, and so on. I didn’t tell him anything except that he should really ask you if he’s so curious.” Pansy sipped her juice. “And then there’s the thorough eye-fucking he gave you while you were having the most awkward conversation in the history of conversations.”

“It was, wasn’t it? Even Ron thought so.”

“And that’s saying something.”

“Hush,” Harry replied automatically, though his thoughts were elsewhere. “Is he dating anyone, Pans?”

She rolled her eyes. “I should tell you what I told him – go and talk to him yourself. But no, he’s not. He said he hasn’t had more than a few casual fucks while he’s been away.”

Harry winced. “That’s good, I suppose.”

“Of course it is. Nothing to stand in your way.”

“Nothing except his lack of interest, of course. I don’t know why he wanted to talk about me last night, but he hasn’t contacted me since he told me he was leaving, and he’s the one who ended it. Not that we had anything to end, I suppose, but I really thought we were headed that way.”

“I’m telling you, Harry, I’ve known Draco my whole life. Something more was – and is – going on with him. I know he feels something for you.”

“Disgust, perhaps?

“I highly doubt that, Harry.”

“I don’t know.” He stared at his plate. “It was the first time I’d done much of anything at all, and certainly anything with a man. Maybe I was terrible.”

“Again, I highly doubt that, Harry. You’re men. Even bad sex is good sex.”

“It wasn’t really sex, though. Just a lot of snogging and outside the clothes touching. We didn’t even take our trousers off.”

“Which should tell you that he must have wanted you pretty badly, if you couldn’t even make it that far.”

“Or that he wasn’t that interested.”

“Did he come?”

“Shh!” Harry hissed, glancing around at the other tables. “Yes, we both did. But that obviously didn’t mean anything.”

“Didn’t it? You’ve carried an obnoxiously oversized torch for him ever since, so it must have made an impression on you.”

“It wasn’t because of that! I liked him well before that night. You know that. I saw him at the Hogwarts anniversary ceremony and we sort of talked, made amends and all. And we ran into each other a few times after that, when we worked near each other, and even started planning to see each other. We were actually _friends_. Then that night happened, and he was gone. We were getting along well enough before, so what could it have been?”

“Maybe you used too much tongue,” Pansy suggested, reaching for Harry’s hand when his face fell. “I’m teasing you, doll. Maybe he truly liked you but didn’t want a long-distance relationship when he was transferred. Why don’t you ask him, now that he’s back?”

“I don’t want to embarrass myself any further. If he wanted me, he would have at least kept in touch. It’s better this way.”

“Oh, don’t be a martyr. I’ve been staring at your long face since he left, and I think you deserve to know why. He certainly won’t tell me, but I promise you there’s more to it than he’s letting on. I know him better than anyone, and if he won’t even tell me, then it’s serious.”

“Should I really bother him about this now? With his mum and all?”

“What better time? He could use the extra support. And a sympathy blow job wouldn’t be out of the question.”

“Shh!”

“What? I was his confidante when he started chasing boys. I know what he likes, and he definitely likes that. Especially if you play with his balls while you’re doing it, or stick your finger in his –“

“Pansy!” Harry covered his face with his hands.

“Just trying to help. Harry.” Pansy pulled one of his hands away. “He’s hurting, and he needs all the friends he can get. At the very least, let him know you still care for him.”

Harry sighed. “All right.”

~*~

As he hadn’t expected so much as a courteous reply to his owl, he was quite surprised when the response came quickly and contained a warm invitation to come by the Manor. He hoped it didn’t seem desperate when he Apparated on the spot, but he was terrified he – or Draco – might have a change of heart.

“Harry.” Draco appeared at the gate to let him in. “You came.”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “As I said in my note, I just wanted to see how you were, and how Narcissa is doing.”

“She’s comfortable, which is the best I can hope for. The healer doesn’t think she has more than a few weeks.”

“And your father?”

“He’s with her. Doesn’t leave her side. She was so happy when he was released from Azkaban last year… It seems tragic that they won’t be able to grow old together now.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry held out a tentative hand, and Draco took it.

“It’s not your fault. In fact, without your testimony, he’d likely still be there now and wouldn’t be able to say good-bye. I do credit you for his reduced sentence, and for the freedom given to Mother and me. We all do.”

Harry squeezed his hand. His chest ached with love for this man, and he couldn’t stop the shiver that rushed through his body. “Draco…”

“You’re cold – let’s get inside. I know just how to warm you.”

“You… do?”

“Of course. The house elves will bring us tea straight away.”

“Tea. Right.”

Draco led Harry to his suite and they stopped in the sitting room outside the bedroom. Draco motioned for Harry to take a seat. “It was kind of you to contact me.”

“I just wanted to catch up. I thought… I was hoping you’d still consider me a friend.”

“Of course I do.” Draco looked away. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yes.”

“I was surprised to hear from Pansy that the pair of you had become so close.”

“I was surprised as well.” Harry grinned. “I dated Terry Boot for a short time, which she caught wind of, and she approached me about it one night when I was out with Seamus.”

“Ah, Terry Boot. I remember when they were together, just after graduation. I wasn’t aware then that he swung both ways.”

“He should probably avoid swinging either way.”

Draco chuckled. “I do remember Pansy mentioning he had a bit of a…” He sipped his tea, extending his pinky finger for emphasis.

“He does indeed. And he barely knows what to do with even that much, so it’s probably for the best that he wasn’t gifted with anything more.”

“Harry, you amuse me. I miss this.” Draco studied his teacup.

“Yes, we were getting to enjoy one another’s company, weren’t we?”

“Until we mucked it all up.”

Harry’s stomach clenched. “Is that what we did?”

“It shouldn’t have happened.” Draco’s voice was quiet.

“I see.”

“Don’t you agree?” Draco finally looked up.

Harry took a deep breath. “No. No, I don’t. I thought it was brilliant.”

Draco blinked. “You did?”

“Do you know how long I wanted to kiss you like that?” Harry stood, feeling the need to pace. And possibly run away. “Ever since our first conversation after school, at the ceremony. No, scratch that. When I saw you in the Great Hall after the final battle, huddled in a corner with your parents, looking terrified when everyone else was at peace or in mourning. I wanted to come over there and kiss you and tell you I’d make certain you were all right. And I had _no_ bloody idea why, since I wasn’t entirely sure I was gay, and you were still just Malfoy to me.”

“You…” Draco’s hands trembled as he placed his teacup on its saucer. “You _did_ make certain I was all right.”

“I did what I could. I did what was _right_ ,” he added with conviction. “And then I thought about you, often, until I saw you again a year later. From that point on, I couldn’t stop thinking about you if I tried.”

“I thought…” Draco stood as well. “That night, you said you weren’t sure.”

“What?”

“You told me you weren’t sure. That you didn’t know if you really liked men, or…”

“I was sure I liked _you_ , Draco. I was still working out the rest. Was I gay? Was I bisexual? I didn’t know how to label myself, and I figured out pretty quickly that I didn’t _need_ a bloody label. The only thing that mattered to me was that I finally had you in my arms. Draco.” Harry took a step toward him. “Was I that bad? Why did you leave me?”

“I told you. I was transferred.”

“I would have come with you.”

Draco let out a shocked laugh. “After one night of kissing and frotting? Harry, really.”

“Yes, really. The way I felt that night I’d have gone anywhere you asked, done anything you asked.”

“If only I’d known,” Draco teased, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Shall I prove it to you?” His heart beating wildly, Harry stepped forward again, close enough to touch Draco. It was time to channel his inner Pansy.

“What? Harry…”

He reached out and hooked his fingers through Draco’s belt loops, tugging him closer. “Anything, Draco. I’m sorry if I wasn’t good enough then.” He unfastened Draco’s belt and trousers. “I’m better now, I hope. I’ve tried to get better…” Harry dropped to his knees, tugging Draco’s trousers and pants down as he went. Draco’s cock sprang forth, lengthening before Harry’s eyes. He licked the tip, feeling Draco shudder as his tongue laved the velvety skin. “Just in case you ever gave me another chance.”

“B-better?” Draco’s hand settled on the top of Harry’s head as his cock was taken in, and he groaned. “I don’t know… what you mean…”

“Mmm.” Harry hummed around his mouthful, swallowing eagerly when the first salty taste of fluid hit his tongue. He couldn’t wait to take in every drop when Draco came. “In bed,” he replied, releasing Draco’s cock. He wrapped his hand around the shaft and began to move in slow strokes. “It’s just that you were my first. I hadn’t done that much, even with a girl, and I’d never climaxed with anyone before.”

“You – oh!” Draco cried out when Harry curled one hand around his sac and tugged. “You think you were _bad_ that night?”

“I didn’t know what else to think, Draco. I’d have tried harder, I swear it.” He licked his lips as clear droplets appeared at the tip of Draco’s penis and extended his tongue to taste them again. Unable to resist, he pushed his index finger between Draco’s buttocks and searched out the furled opening. He rubbed it with the pad of his finger and swallowed Draco whole.

“Harry!” Draco moaned. He held Harry’s head steady with both hands and began to thrust, carefully fucking Harry’s mouth just how Harry had pictured so many times before.

Harry stilled, allowing Draco to take control, and used his knuckles to massage Draco’s perineum. He closed his eyes when Draco’s motions became jerky and concentrated on the come trickling down his throat.

“You were amazing that night,” Draco mumbled, fingers sifting through Harry’s mussed hair and legs shaking.

Harry lapped at the head of Draco’s cock, collecting the last of the fluid as it made its sluggish appearance. “I was?”

“Mmm. I wanted exactly what you gave me. I wanted to be close to you, wrapped up in you. I wanted you so badly I couldn’t be bothered to take off my clothes.”

 _Score one for Pansy_. “So why did you leave? If you did have to move, why did you cut off contact with me?”

“I had dreams about you all the time during seventh year. I dreamed about you saving us all. I dreamed that you would save _me_. You’d tell me you always wanted to be my friend, and you’d take me away from the hell I was living in, and I’d be safe. And at some point, I started imagining it all while I was awake. Only then, we’d be more than friends.”

Harry stood and reached out to unbutton Draco’s shirt. “We could be.”

Draco laughed, but it seemed on the verge of a sob to Harry. “You did save me, then, from the fire. That made it worse because I was so close to you. I could smell your sweat, and feel your body against mine, your hair on my cheek. I wanted you so badly, Harry, and I thought about it again and again. I still do.”

“Draco.” Harry pulled Draco close. “Why? If you felt that way…”

“Because you said you weren’t sure! I thought – I thought I was an experiment to you. The night I finally told you I was gay, we were drinking and we ended up in bed, and you said you didn’t know… and all I could think about was how horrible it would be in the morning when you realized what you’d done. When you were disgusted that you’d touched me, even through my clothes.” 

Resting his forehead against Draco’s, Harry sighed. “So you sent me away before that could happen.”

“Yes. And I asked Gringotts for a transfer. Actually, I simply accepted the one they’d been asking me to take for weeks – the Paris liaison had resigned and they had offered me the post. It was a nice promotion, but I didn’t really want to leave.”

“Until I scared you away.”

“I didn’t know what to do, Harry. I was terrified. I’d never been in love before, never even imagined falling in love, but that night… I finally knew that’s exactly what it was. Not just attraction or even infatuation.”

“You loved me?” Harry whispered.

“I did. I do. I ran away like the coward I’ve always been. I thought it was easier than having my heart broken.”

“So you broke mine instead.”

“And my own, despite my efforts. I didn’t realize I’d hurt you. I’m sorry for it.”

“I wanted you for a long time, Draco, like I told you. That night was… well, it was like coming home for me, even if that’s the most cliché way possible to describe it. And I don’t understand – couldn’t you have come home when you found out it wasn’t just an experiment for me? You knew I dated Terry. And I dated other men as well.”

“I considered it. But if I’d come home only to find out you didn’t want to be with me for more than a night, if my past was too much to overcome… like I said, I was a coward. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to trust you.”

“You aren’t a coward. And I’m sorry I didn’t stop feeling sorry for myself and come after you, like I should have.” Harry grinned. “But most of all…”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry about how insufferable Pansy’s going to be now that we’ve proven her right.”

Draco laughed. “Too right. One more for me – I’m sorry that delicious erection I feel pressed against me isn’t inside my arse where it belongs.”

“We – we’ll have to rectify that,” Harry managed as Draco’s hands worked deftly to free his cock. “Bed?”

“Not this time. Lubrication spell.” Draco moved away, kicking his pants and trousers off his ankles as he went, and bent over the chair Harry had been sitting in for tea. “Fuck me, Harry.”

Harry nearly tripped getting his own trousers off, causing Draco to laugh as he watched over his shoulder. When Harry was finally undressed and had slicked himself with conjured lubricant, he approached Draco and pressed a finger into his opening. Encouraged by the moan he received, he worked in another.

“Just fuck me, Harry,” Draco breathed. 

Happy to oblige, Harry lined himself up and pushed forward. He closed his eyes and took a breath, attempting to stave off the orgasm that was already threatening to thunder forth. It had been awhile and he’d imagined being inside Draco so many times, both while awake and asleep, that it was literally a dream come true. 

They set a rhythm, Harry thrusting forward and Draco rocking back into him. Eager fingers gripped Draco’s hips as Harry moved, and he threw his head back when he couldn’t stop from tumbling over the edge. Moaning Draco’s name, he fell.

They managed to make it to the bed once Harry caught his breath, and soon they were rolling across silk, mouths connected and limbs entwined. It was reminiscent of their first night together, but the feelings were so much more.

It was messy and sweaty and absolutely perfect.

~*~

“So why did you quit?”

They lay together, still wrapped around one another, and Harry closed his eyes when Draco began to trace patterns on his skin with his fingertips. “Mmm. I hated it. Really did. They seemed to expect me to… I don’t even know what. I was tired of being stared at, always being called out to answer questions or demonstrate things. And I realized that I wasn’t into it anymore, not really. I didn’t want to fight anyone, and I didn’t want to be a spectacle.”

“Understandable.”

“So I took a part-time job at Quality Quidditch, and I’ve never regretted it. I don’t need any more excitement in my life. Except, perhaps, this.” Harry slipped a hand between their bodies to caress Draco’s genitals.

“He promises to be excited again later,” Draco told him with a chuckle.

“And you? Are you going back to Paris?”

“No.” He pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead. “I requested a leave of absence and then a transfer back. They resisted the transfer part in the beginning, but I offered my resignation instead and they had a change of heart. I needed to be home for Mum, and Father will need me. After. Being with you is a lucky and wonderful bonus.”

Harry tightened his arms around Draco. “I’ll be here, in any way you need me to be, love.”

“Right now, this is just what I need.”

“Good.”

~*~

Harry relaxed on the sofa, settled against Draco’s chest. Draco spent most of his time at the Manor, but as Lucius needed time alone with his wife, he spent some time at Harry’s house as well. Most nights found them curled up together in Draco’s bed so that he could be home.

“What do you want for dinner? Shall I make something?”

“If you like. Or I could call for takeout.”

“I never thought I’d see Draco Malfoy with a mobile phone.”

“Hey, I use more Muggle things than you’d think. It’s your fault anyway.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because Pansy insisted I buy and learn to use the bloody thing to keep in touch more easily, and I believe you introduced it to her in the first place.”

Harry chuckled. “Guilty, I suppose. As far as dinner goes, either is fine with me as long as we can have dessert in bed.”

“I think we can manage that.” Draco licked the shell of his ear, and Harry was turning to kiss him when the Floo flared and Ron stumbled out.

“Harry! Guess wh – oh, Merlin, what’s this all about?” Ron scowled down at them.

“Er… you remember Draco?” Harry tried.

“Of course I remember the git! I only had to endure nearly a decade of his abuse in school, and I just saw him recently, didn’t I?”

“Nearly a decade? Drama queen,” Draco muttered.

“Felt like _more_ than a decade,” Ron replied.

“Enough. It is exactly what it looks like, Ron, and since I hope you’ll both be in my life for a long time, you’ll have to find a way to deal with each other.”

“Oh, I don’t care,” Ron said impatiently. “I told you I saw how you looked at him. Your business who you snog, anyway, although I’d prefer it if your willy wasn’t hanging out while I’m talking to – fuck, and I’d prefer to never see Malfoy’s hand on it!”

“I was putting it away for you,” Draco replied helpfully. “See how nice I am?”

“Wow. All right. Mate, I’m going to be a dad!”

“What?” Harry jumped up. “Truly?”

“That’s why Hermione’s been all mental! She’s been nervous – because we weren’t really planning on having any for a year or more yet – and she’s got all sorts of hormones, apparently… and they’re only going to get worse! Isn’t that brilliant?”

Harry grinned and shook his head. “I don’t spend a lot of nights at home these days, but the guest room is always open for you.”

“Thank you! I have to go – I told her I was just going to pick up some ice cream, but I just had to… oh, bloody hell. She’s going to be so angry I told you without her, isn’t she?”

“Probably. But she has no idea I’m seeing Draco,” Harry suggested. “We’re meeting tomorrow for lunch, so you can tell her tonight. Sort of an information trade.”

“Thanks, mate!” Ron exclaimed.

“Sure. And congratulations.”

“Yes, congratulations to you both,” Draco spoke up.

They watched Ron disappear, and Harry turned to face Draco. “So, we should probably go out for dinner instead.”

“Why?”

“Chances are he’ll be back before long.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can leave a comment here or [on Livejournal](http://hd-erised.livejournal.com/7962.html).


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